6 Things to Remember About your Mother

That mother and daughter relationship can be something else. You bump heads more than you would like, momma just wants whats best for you but sometimes you just don’t see it that way!

My relationship with my mother has been a journey full of life lessons. To keep it 100, I have not always liked my mother, love her of course, but like, not always. I think its quite normal though. Can you relate to feeling this way? A woman gives birth to a little girl, she raises her the best she knows how, teaches her lady things and prays that she makes better decisions than she did.  But then you have to factor in the different personalities and attitudes, different ways of doing and saying things, different ways of handling things etc.

It wasn’t until I got into my twenties, when I became a little more mentally and emotionally mature,  that I began to really evaluate my relationship with my mother and begin to understand who she was as a woman. I did this through the help of other people who knew her longer than me and who would steer my in the right direction in my relationship with her, mainly my oldest sister.

In the midst of growing up and clashing with your mother in certain areas, for example, like her not allowing you to wear a certain outfit, or maybe she yells waaaay more than your lil heart can take ( I have had many days of crying in my room from how my mother would talk to me), there are a few things that we can sometimes overlook that is key to developing and maintaining a healthy relationship with her.

1. She Does What She knows to Do

Regardless of the current relationship you may have with your mother, realize that you are a piece of her heart that she desires to protect and nourish even though it may not always come out that way. Realize that she had people raise her and she has dealt with a lot of things in her life that she may not have been healed from. She is only doing what she knows how to do. Even if its not right, she is doing what she knows to do.

2. God Does Not Make Mistakes

When God gave you your mother, He did not make a mistake! Understand that. When I would get super angry or sad I would think, ” I wish my mom was like this, or I wish my mom was like her mother…” But regardless of who she is, that is the woman who gave birth to me! Good or bad, if God allowed it to happen then understand that it was for a purpose and its not always for us to receive or get something out of it but to learn a valuable lesson from it.  Maybe your mother didn’t protect you as a little girl, or she may call you names that you know she shouldn’t. Okay, learn from that and realize how you feel when that happens. Now think about what you have to do  as a growing young lady to make sure others people or even your future children don’t feel the way you feel. Whether you have experienced good or bad with your mother, she is teaching you what to do and what not to do. Its all in how you look at it.

3. She Can’t Give What She Does Not Have

I had this issue bad in thinking that if my mom didn’t show me how to do this or teach me that, then she failed me as a mother and it would  cause my heart to feel bitter towards her. But if all it took to raise me was my mother than God would not have given me aunties, sisters ,cousins, and mentors. Don’t down your mother for what she does not have. She cant give what she does not have. It’s ok to seek outside help and relationships that will nourish you in that one particular area. And when you do this, realize that your mother is still your mother, no need to compare her to another woman. I did the whole comparison thing and I never thought to think of my mothers feelings afterwards. Make sure your mother knows that you love and appreciate her for what she knows to do, she only wants the best for you.

4. You Only Get 1.

I have gone to bed many nights angry at my mother not even realizing that I can wake up the next day to no mother at all. I know many people whose mothers have passed while they were little kids or just young adults, wishing they could just have one day with her again. But yet, here I am taking my mom for granted. We only get one! Make sure she knows that you love the one that you have. Because truth is she wont always be here.

5. We reap What We Sow…It’s a Law!

OH BOY! knowing this now I almost want to have a second try at many situations I could have handled better. If you are not already, you may become a mother yourself one day. How you treat your mother, is that how you would want your kids treating you? Something to think about there.

6. Live Long & Prosper

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  ^‘Honor your father and mother’—which is the first commandment with a promise—’so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.’ ” -Ephesians 6:1-3

Honoring our parents brings long life and when we don’t, choosing to disrespect them, we can shorten the days of our lives.

As every day goes by I am learning to love my mother more and more just as she is. Regardless of the ups and downs we’ve experienced, she has always been there for me and when times get rough she is the one in my corner. Reality is you don’t treat people bad who truly love you! Your mom may be the best woman to ever walk this earth doing everything perfect, love her! Your mom may also be a drug abuser, a liar, or maybe even an absentee, love her too! All we ever wanted out of life is for people to love us just as we are right? Pray that God may restore her as He desires to and allow him to begin the restoration process through your love and forgiveness.

In the Words of Tupac “Aint no woman alive that can take my momma’s place”

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