ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!! Life begins before marriage!

By Britany Jones

ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!! Life begins before marriage!

Despite of what you think or how you feel, you were not made to just sit by the window all day and wait for God to send you a man. You have a divine assignment on your life.

As a woman, I know we desire to be held, to be loved etc. Many of us are looking for a guy to fill that void of not having a father figure in our lives mentally and emotionally.

When I look back over my younger days I didn’t realize that I was always looking for someone to be there for me. I didnt realize until I got older and more mature in christ that being single (not married) is a blessing and actually the best seat in the house.

I hear so many young ladies saying, ” I cant wait to be married”, as if thats all there is to us beautiful creatures. I want to show you that being single is not a curse but a blessing. 

“It’s just an emotion”

 

I use to feel that life really wasn’t happening until I had some one to be with and get married. I would always start off my thinking “when I get married” or “I cant wait to get married so I can do this or do that”.  I didn’t realize that I wasn’t even enjoying my life now, but always worrying about who I will be with. 

Don’t be so focused on wanting to have a man in your life. Why are we so afraid of being single?

The enemy tries to tell us that we are alone, confusing us with our emotions as if we would never be with anyone. As a result, we try to get someone and hold on to them,settling in most cases.

I am learning that emotions are just emotions nothing more nothing less, a temporary feeling. Its ok to feel it. Accept it for what it is, have your moment but don’t let it control you and make you go against sound judgment. For so long I gave into my emotions, but all that did was cause serious pain in my life. I felt powerless when it came to them because they seemed so strong and my heart felt so heavy, I was a slave to them. What we don’t realize is that we have power over our emotions, not the other way around.

Just because we feel something does not mean that’s what it really is. Where the spirit of the lord is there is true freedom not slavery, 2 Corinthians 3:17. We have so much power and it comes from our father Jesus Christ.


Roman 8:11 ”  And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.”

Ladies did you get that?? If you are saved then the same power that God used to raise Christ from the dead is now LIVING IN YOU!! Wow now that’s some real power that we possess. What’s a simple emotion to power like this? I know one thing it is…Defeated.

Life doesn’t start until you get married. WRONG! Life is happening right now. I didn’t realize how important it was to be single until I got into a serious relationship. We are single for a reason. This season of singleness is a time to work on self and actually work on accomplishing something to bring to the alter. But most importantly this is a time to be used by God. 

This is a season that you are able to devote your time to God with no distractions. Being married your time is divided between husband, kids, career, church etc. I heard Dr. R.A Vernon, pastor of The Word Church, call them delightful distractions, but they are still distractions nonetheless.

I ignored God for the longest. He was calling me to spend more (and much needed) alone time with Him, not working on getting married to my guy but getting married to my God first.

Here are some benefits of being single:

  • You can do what you want when you want.
  • You can sleep on both sides of the bed lol.
  • When you get dressed everybody is dressed.
  • When you eat everybody eats.
  • You don’t have to worry about anyone’s attitude/personality on a daily.
  • You can spend your money how you choice. ( but don’t forget to save 🙂
  • You are accountable for SELF only.
This season of singleness is a time for God to cut you open and lay you bare, take all the bad things out of you and perfect the good things.Call it open heart surgery. 
If you feel as if God is calling you to be married one day then allow him to work on you and instill in you the characteristics that a kingdom wife should have.
Marriage calls you to love this person till death do you part. That means through the good, bad and just plain ugly. ( If your doing it Gods way then divorce is not an option unless for biblical reasons, and even with that God is able to fix all things, in my opinion divorce should never be an option.)
Marriage requires you to submit to your husband like the church (us) submits to Christ.

Ephesians 5:22-24 “ Wives, be subject (be submissive and adapt yourselves) to your own husbands as

[a service] to the Lord.For the husband is head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, Himself the Savior of [His] body. As the church is subject to Christ, so let wives also be subject in everything to their husbands.”

Marriage is not natural, its super natural and we need a super God to help us. Its not a law of the world, but Gods law, His sacred covenant, and if we are going to get married we must be how Gods says be and do it Gods way. 

“He needs more than just the physical”

 
Ladies, marriage is more than just cooking for him, dropping it like its hot in the bedroom, and having someone you can come home to. When the wedding day is over, honeymoon is done and you have showed him your best moves in the bed then what??  You might be able to satisfy him physically but what about spiritually?

Are you able to pray with him, lay hands on him when his body is sick? When those demons come to attack your marriage, and they will come full force, do you have a close relationship with God to pray and cast them down to hell? When life is hitting you guys hard are you able to speak life into your marriage, assuring him things will be ok when it looks the total opposite, faith? 

Also, in what ways can you produce for your household? Find ways to bring in money, save money, have your own business. We ladies can do a lot you know 🙂 

Marriage is more than just a feeling of love, which is more of an action word than anything. You cant divorce him because you “feel” you don’t love him anymore. In marriage we are to be like Christ. I’m sure Christ didn’t “feel” like getting beat and dying on that cross, but He did it anyway. It wasn’t a feeling but an action, now that’s love. Are you ready for that type of commitment??
 
This is why its so important to embrace your singleness and allow God to work on you to be a strong God fearing woman, reading your word, praying for others and encouraging the next woman. With the God in you, plus the God in your kingdom husband, your union should be the devils worst nightmare. When you both walk into a room your presence alone should set the atmosphere before a word is even spoken. Demons should tremble when they see you both coming because of Gods anointing on your marriage. Now that’s the union I’m praying for.
 
When I say singles have the best seat in the house we really do. We have time to still work on self and allow God to work on us before we become one flesh with another person. Enjoy this time and get the best out of it. God uses this time to teach you to listen to His spirit and prevent you from going down the wrong path and making mistakes that would be disastrous in the long run.  ( Like marrying the wrong guy or marrying some one not saved)
 
Here is some powerful teaching from one of the BEST books I believe every single should be reading  Dr. R.A Vernon’s 10 Rules of Dating.
 
“Marriage is a serious kingdom business. Are you ready for an undertaking of this spiritual magnitude”
“Marriage is a spiritual union. It was designed by God to be representative of his relationship with His church. This uniting of souls should embody the idea of safe, sacrificial, and selfless love, or the love we enjoy as heirs to Gods kingdom. Marriage is an ever evolving exercise in unselfishness and daily challenge. It is a relationship that requires you to often give up your own needs, wants, and desires to meet your spouses’s needs, wants, and desires”
Ladies have you carefully considered why you want to get married?  Besides his looks and his bank account do you really know why?
” Is it to avoid loneliness? Are you getting older and feeling the pressure to tie the knot soon for fear you will end up an old maid? Are you looking for someone to to fill an emotional cavity left by someone who broke your heart? Are you in a sinful relationship where you are fornicating or incessantly lusting and you want to get married so your sexual immorality is no longer an issue? Have you found someone who meets all your standards and you want to make it official as soon as possible for fear of letting them get away”
“If you answered yes to any of these reasons you need to step back, for sure, do some praying and consider reevaluating your self worth, your motivation, and your relationship with God before you go any further”

“What if I said marriage is not designed to make you more happy but more holy” Vernon
 
Check this out, a quote from Gary Thomas’, Devotions for a sacred Marriage: A year of Weekly Devotions for Couples, also used in Dr. R.A Vernon’s book.
“If I am to rid myself of anything that may contaminate body or spirit, then I give no place in my life to selfishness. I am always called to practice gentleness, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self control. Someone else’s sin-even the sin of my spouse against me-never gives me the license to respond with sin. I am called to just one motivation and one only: reverence for God. In one sense what my spouse says or does or doesn’t do is almost irrelevant. Every decision I make, every word I utter, every thought I think, every movement I perform, is to flow out of the one holy motivation: reverence for God”
WOW, ladies after reading that how do u feel? Do you still feel like marriage is a must right now? Or are you glad you are in your season of singleness to better yourself.
 
I thank God everyday for my season of singleness. Its a time for me to spend all my undivided time with Him. Its a time for me to find out who I really am, why I do the things I do, what Christ requires of me, and what my true purpose is on this earth. 

Every time I think about all the dumb things I did and how He has kept me through it all I bust out in worship and tears. I know if  I would have jumped too soon or married some guy that was not my kingdom man, I would not be where I am now, focused, college grad, and allowing God to use me to even create this blog to encourage you!!
Ladies from the bottom of my heart I encourage you to enjoy your single season and wait on God to bring you your husband in His timing
Psalms 31:15 ” My times are in Your hands “ 
 
In the mean time write a book, start a business, pursue your dancing career, create beautiful art, single mothers raise your sons and daughters to be confident and follow God, get 5 degrees if you want to, build your empire, and join a ministry. Remember when Boaz found Ruth she was busy in her assignment, doing what God told her to do (read the story). God used Esther, another powerful woman, to save a whole nation. Allow Him to use you to.
 
Do whatever it is you have a passion for and succeed at being who God called you to be. Remember, a man should never be in our lives to complete us ( God already did that) but to compliment us….love you all!!!


Brittany J
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Britany Jones

Brittany Jones is an inspirational writer and speaker for young women. Her passion is to empower young women to live their best life by knowing their self-worth and the power of sexual Integrity.

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