Girls, Lets Talk about Sex !! Pt. 1

Girls, Lets Talk about Sex !! Pt. 1

I wish when I was younger someone would have sat me down and talked to me about sex. I wish when I was younger someone would have been real with me and schooled me on the game. I wish when I was younger I would have known that sex before marriage was not the plan God has for his sons and daughters.

I gave my virginity away at the age of 15 and I can honestly say it was the worse decision I have made in my entire life. It was the summer before my sophomore year in high school and my mom was in the hospital for domestic violence.

Witnessing that episode, you can already imagine that I was going through something much deeper than what my mind could comprehend. My mom was going through and my dad was the cause of it, so what did I do?? Turn to a boy, subconsciously looking for a man’s love and affection that I never had.

I didn’t know I was opening the door for the devil to come right in. I didn’t know how valuable I was and that my body was a temple, Gods resting place. I surely was not thinking that my virginity was sacred and it was only meant for my husband on my wedding night, Gods master plan!!

Do you know once you show the devil what you like, he will use it as his best weapon against you?! I was giving away the cookies, my precious body and soul to this guy, trying to find love, but all I found was lust and hurt, and the cycle continued.


Ladies can you honestly say that you felt whole, secure and at ease giving yourself away? Did you think that he loved you so much and you knew you two were going to be together only to realize that was far from the truth? Sex is spiritual and emotional, the last thing it is is physical. Have you ever been cool with a guy, dated a guy, but once y’all had sex everything changed? Once I let a guy touch me, I felt an emotional attachment to him, clingy. Even if I didn’t want to talk to him anymore, made up my mind that I was done,

“Girl I’m done with him foreal this time we are through,”

I felt like I just could not let him go. WHY? Because when we had sex he dropped some of his soul in mine and I dropped some of my soul in his. This is called a soul tie. Soul ties are when two souls come together in the spiritual realm. This is what draws two married people together, but if formed out of marriage, fornication, it is destructive to your body, soul and spirit. All it takes is one time 🙁

Depiction of a woman with many soul ties

Have you ever wondered why a woman who gets beat by her man always runs back to him? Well this is why. Do you really think she enjoys getting sucker punched?? No, she is dealing with something much deeper then this physical world, soul ties, and that’s what we struggle with when we have sex out of marriage.

Every time we lay to have sex with someone, we connect with them, not just physically but spiritually, and with our souls. Our souls consist of our minds/thoughts, our desires and our emotions. A negative soul tie is nothing but a bridge for demons to pass between the two involved, this is the spiritual aspect.  Throughout life we all have unknowingly accumulated evil spirits by allowing them in through an “open door”  like sin, weak moments/ circumstances in life and just plain ignorance. Once they come in they wreck our souls (mind, desires, and emotions) and it reflects in our actions.  Think of the soul as the steering wheel, it makes the car go where you want it and that’s what they attach to, to get you to go where they want you to go……destruction!

This is why Jesus comes to save SOULS! He wants to take over and lead you to everlasting life. So when we have sex with some one, the demons they have become ours and vice versa, WOW! Our minds and thoughts become clouded and distorted, unable to make clear and sound decisions and our emotions go crae crae! This is what we mostly feel as women, while men may express it through distorted desires but both sexes go through it all whether we see it or not.

Think about it, before the sex your emotions were cool, but afterwards if he did something to you it felt ten times worse. The hurt is deeper and the anger is more intense etc. Oh, and don’t let him start talking to another girl, now you are ready to shoot! Don’t forget the girls he had before you. Not only are you wrestling with his soul/demons but their soul/demons too. Wow again!

This also creates a thing called “False Love” because now our soul (emotions) is connected to the guy and we feel like we cant live without him, becoming stuck in relationships that we would otherwise not be in if we were in our right mind!!

Illegally Married

What this soul tie means is when you have sex with someone you MARRY THEM!! That’s how God designed it.

Mark 10:7-8For this reason a man shall leave[behind] his father and his mother and be joined to his wife and cleave closely to her permanently,  and the two shall become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh.” AMP


1 Cor 6:16″ Do you not know that he who unites himself with (has sex with) a prostitute ( a person period) is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”

How many of you, like me, have been married a couple times but never walked down anyone’s aisle, said I do, and tossed no flowers, not even a petal?  Never would you have thought you would have to get divorced before you really got married huh? And by the way, the only one who can help you recover from those negative soul ties is Christ. And be very aware that Christ forgives but scars and the consequences we suffer through afterwards may stay forever. We reap what we sow. This is a spiritual law.

See, this kind of marriage is what I call an ILLEGAL marriage, not ordained by God. He does not cover, honor, nor bless it and instead of it being a wife, husband and God its an illegitimate wife, husband and an open door to demonic forces. It brings disaster and does not end happily ever after, and I can tell you that’s true for sure!

Girl, It Aint Worth It!

When I say that having sex before marriage was the worst decision, that’s exactly what I mean!! I spent so many nights crying over a boy, an emotional hell, wondering about him. And when we were done talking I felt stupid & ashamed,

“I let you touch me and we’re just going to stop talking, just like that??”

I felt as if he took a part of me with him, which he did. Now I’m left with a scattered soul, emotional scars & memories I wish I never had.

Waiting for marriage you will be physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthier. You won’t have to worry about STD’s, being a baby momma with a deadbeat dad (and for the record these boys run away because sex is natural, being a father and/or husband is not, they have to be taught) and you won’t have any emotional baggage to carry around.

And let’s be honest, always worrying if you are pregnant is not the way to live. It doesn’t matter what you use, if you’re having sex and if God allows it, there is always a possibility of pregnancy. I don’t know about you but I rather have peace of mind than a night in sin that probably will last only 5 minutes anyway!

I’ve had those days of worrying if I was pregnant, what I’m going do, I’m too young, I’m not married, I have no money, what kind of weapon will my momma use to kill me lol what will people think etc. At the tender age of 15 I thought I was pregnant and I even contemplated abortion , which is not Gods will and we will get on that subject later.

All this stuff passes through your mind and it’s not the peace, joy, security, love, and abundant life God promises to his beautiful daughters.

Jesus Save ME

After I got saved at age of 16, I received His holy spirit and He began to convict me an show me that what I was doing was wrong. I knew it was wrong, I wasn’t indulging in it like I use to but I would still fall every now and then, still feeling as if I didn’t give it up he wouldn’t talk to me anymore (ladies you’re not alone if you ever felt that way). So I began to go to church faithfully and read what His word says:

1 Corinthians 6:15-20Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!  Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.  Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. “  NIV

One of the biggest parts that stood out to me was the word “flee”. I would fall a lot because I was ignoring my triggers,anything that causes one to fall into sex. When God says flee, He means flee and not sit there and try to resist, something I did all to often and didn’t even realize it.

Ladies, our bodies are not ours they are Christ. How can we give something away that was never ours to give? That is deep to me 🙂 I just want to encourage you ladies and give you the truth because without knowledge we perish.

Condoms, birth control, abortion & plan B, might be able to save us from STDs and pregnancy but it can not save our souls, which is the most important and all we will have left on that faithful judgement day 🙂

Want More?

Ponder on this so far and we will continue this discussion in Pt. 2 Click here –>   Girls, Lets Talk about Sex Pt. 2

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Romans 10:9  “If you acknowledge and confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and in your heart believe (adhere to, trust in, and rely on the truth) that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.“

Britany Jones

Brittany Jones is an inspirational writer and speaker for young women. Her passion is to empower young women to live their best life by knowing their self-worth and the power of sexual Integrity.

  • ~Chosen~

    May 29, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    Preach lil sis! Keep on speaking as God gives it to you. No matter who responds or doesnt just know that God is being exalted! I pray for conviction and deliverance. God is good and even after a mistake we can be made pure! I wont get to testifying but honey I have walked that walk toooooooo many times and three kids later. Thank God for his forgiveness and mercy!

  • misfit-connection

    May 29, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    This is beautiful, I can relate. If you arent planning on writing a book or being a counselor, you should! Maybe discuss in part two, if things dont really change with your guy afterwards,he doesnt start acting weird and the relationship is still good, but you want to just flat out stop having sex and start being a true christian and hopefully convert him too, but he doesnt have much of an interest in religion, what to do? Stuck in between a rock and a hard place.

  • Anonymous

    May 30, 2012 at 1:05 am

    Praise the Lord for He is truly using you. Your testimony is awesome and has so many layers for women and men to learn alike. I felt the Holy spirit reading your words so I know what you say you believe and is true for you and all of His children. Keep pressing on Brittany and sharing His word as well as your testimony. Allow Him to continue to use you as this is what He expects of us. Love you so much and especially the talent, and truth you possess! You rock! Jeri', your sister in spirit and in Christ……..

  • Kanesha

    June 1, 2012 at 4:05 am

    Pray for me these kids over here are getting on my last nerve tae just erased my entire comment and its all the devil they were like what is that nesha I say brittany's blog/website they say so all yall do is talk about jesus on there and its all holy I said not all abt jesus we talk about everything in life and whats wrong with talking about jesus I thought yall were saved?? Not!!!!! these kids were cussing in my ear and all please pray but Overall I loved this once again such an awesome testimony I know it will touch many women and change many hearts thanks for sharing and allowing what god has instilled in you well thats all God Bless Love ya Sis

  • Anonymous

    June 11, 2012 at 12:00 am

    Again, Brit you are really doing your thing. I'm so glad that God has placed it on your heart to be one of his sheep that stand out. Keep it up girl!!!

  • JaNice

    June 20, 2012 at 3:03 am

    Pastor spoke 'evangelist' and girl you are living out those words. I so wish my husband couldve been the first to '' dig in'' but girl I was just hard headed because I had plenty of people teaching me. I was just young dumb and curious. But keep doing what you doing girl cause somebody out there always needs to get a good word and you speaking the truth

  • Brittany M. Jones

    October 3, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    thank you kecia i appreciate you and your support more than you think!! I pray for the same and you need to testify..but im bouta be hitting you up on your testimonies to share anyway 🙂

  • Brittany M. Jones

    October 3, 2012 at 10:39 pm

    HI Misfit-connection thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts with me I SO appreciate it!!! Im neither a writer or a counselor but you just put some wonderful visions in my head 🙂 God can do some amazing things..but in your situation keep this in mind you need jesus more than anything in this world including a man..if you are being led by God to do something that is pleasing to him than do that. the bible talks about being God pleasers not people pleasers. i have also learned that we dnt have the power to change anyone only god can change their hearts you just continue to live for God. He sees whats in your heart and its pleasing to him..the bible says he rewards those who earnestly seek him..for the guy all you can do is pray for him..make a clear decision your living For God and if he cant get on board guess what?? deuces!! is he worth your salvation is he worth your place in Gods kingdom?? trust, God knows what He is doing He is calling you higher and He will bless you with a kingdom man that he desires you to have. whether its a NEW him or a new man..choose God girl and Let God handle the see that beautiful woman who commented before you? her name is kecia she has a poem called UNEQUALLY YOKED..Ima have her share it on here because this is exactly what you looking out for it in near future i pray it seat you free.. Love you.. (sorry so long lol)

  • Brittany M. Jones

    October 3, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    wow you're so kind Jeri thank you for the encouragement.God is amazing.. love you!!!

  • Brittany M. Jones

    October 3, 2012 at 10:41 pm

    you da bomb JaNice im glad u read my blog 🙂 love u sista girl thanks for those encouraging words they are needed

  • Brittany M. Jones

    October 3, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    love u !!!!!!!! thank you so much

  • Brittany M. Jones

    October 3, 2012 at 10:43 pm

    lol i will definitely pray girl love you!!!

  • dejah

    August 22, 2013 at 9:18 pm

    you really inspire me. as a 17 yr old girl I've been struggling with having a sexual life. like you i was 15 when i lost my virginity. i was looking for the love and attention and affection from a guy, because of what happened to me when i was 11. i'm not going to say what, but yeah. but now that I've grown some i learned that its not suppose/doesn't have to be that way i don't have to go looking for pleasure in a guy when i can find it in god.

  • brittany jones

    September 6, 2013 at 6:35 pm

    This comment has been removed by the author.

  • brittany jones

    September 6, 2013 at 6:35 pm

    Its a beautiful thing when God gives us more understanding of who He is..thanks so much for reading Dejah..much more on this blog so come back often 🙂

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