GOSSIP! The Power of Words
GOSSIP! The Power of Words
“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”
That is one of the biggest lies I have ever heard. I don’t know about you but words have been the cause of some serious pain in my life.
Why do we women gossip and talk about each other? I believe its self esteem issues, downing her to make self seem better, jealousy, feeling threatened by the next woman, or out of anger and revenge. Someone may have talked about you and hurt you so you do the same to them. It could stem from boredom, just to make conversation and entertain others, trying to fit in with other women and using it as a bonding tactic and many other reasons.
Some have nothing going on in their own lives so they gossip and talk about everybody else who are actually trying to better themselves, just bitter.
We have all gossiped and talked about others intentionally or unintentionally, but once you are the victim it’s a whole different story. I had to realize the hard way that everybody does not have your best at heart. I can remember confiding in some young ladies about serious issues, only for them to go back and tell others my business, taking my words with good intentions and making them evil. I can also remember confiding in a grown woman who was suppose to be a mother figure to me, supposed to be saved, but ended up gossiping about me, saying hurtful things and was just as childish as a little school girl. Have you ever heard the saying, “church hurt is the worst hurt”? Just because someone is in church does not mean they are in Christ. I had to realize that what the devil means for bad God always means for good.
Through all that, God showed me that I put too much into people, what they think and say. He showed me insecurities I had and my lack of confidence. I wanted to be bitter, talk about them, and hold grudges.
” Why do I have to be the bigger person? She is a grown woman and she should know better”
The hurt and pain made me get on my knees more, read more, learn how to forgive, show love to those who hurt me because hurt people hurt others. It made me look deeper into their hearts and issues with compassion and it showed me what not to do to other women! Maturity does not come with age, but Christ.
“Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” -Luke 6:27-28
Man, is this a struggle to do sometimes. It took a lot of crying, releasing, and praying but I was determined to let my light (the Holy Spirit) shine no matter what. God wants us to go higher but He has to get some junk out of us to elevate us and He will use whoever He pleases to do it.
Ladies, we must do better. Gossiping and talking about each other is one of the nastiest characteristics us women can have and is truly displeasing to God. Can we praise God and belittle another out of the same mouth? Absolutely not! As women, we have a responsibility to help the next woman, encourage her to be a better person, be her cheerleader instead of tearing her down, talking about what she is wearing, who she is with or what she is doing.
Try something new. Pray for her instead of talking about her. You will find yourself growing, maturing spiritually and helping others in the process. We know each other’s pain first hand. We know how each other operates. We know how it feels to want to be loved and to act on emotions all the time. Instead of dogging her and the situation she is in, give her a helping hand and lift your sister up. God sets us free from our own situations so that we can help the next girl get set free, not keep her in bondage with our words!
A lot of us women have so many issues because we like to comment on everything, about everything and every body. We must learn to keep the mouth closed 🙂
Ask yourself this question, “how many ladies have I murdered”? You might be thinking, ” I have never murdered a person in my life”, but you have, we all have and we used our tongues as the weapon.
“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (You reap what you sow) (NIV)
“Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.” (MSG) –Proverbs 18:21
I want to encourage us ladies to love each other and speak life to each other. Are you able to speak GOOD things about her when she is not around? Now that’s the real test. I will be the first to admit that it’s challenging to speak good about those who have hurt you and back stabbed you with words, but I tell you God rewards those who do good and revenge is His not ours. Begin to let go of the pain and stop rehearsing the hurt. Love on her and put the real enemy in his place (the devil ).
“ For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish people.” –1 Peter 2:15
I know how it feels to be lost deep in sin, naive and gullible. I know how it feels to be the other chick, to settle for less, giving a man things only wives should. I know how it feels to be the center of someone else’s gossip, talked about and lied on. And let me tell you, NONE of it felt good. Because of these past hurts and pains, I wouldn’t want the next young lady to feel that, to go through these things and feel she couldn’t reach out to me in fear that I will down her and talk about her.
We’ll talk about her being a bad mom but not woman enough to show her how to be a good one. We’ll talk about how she dresses but not woman enough to show her how to. We’ll talk about her with this guy and that guy but not woman enough to show her true worth.
Enough is Enough! Where are the real women? Is it you?
Just like some one loved me enough to help and talk to me I will do the same and I hope you do to 🙂 Are you your sisters keeper? YES you are and don’t ever forget that.
Scriptures on the tongue and Gossip
Proverbs 31:26 ” She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.”
Proverbs 20:19 “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much”
Proverbs 21:23 ” Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity (misery).
Proverbs 11:13 ” A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.”
Ephesians 4:29 ” Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
Proverbs 10:18 ” Liars secretly hoard hatred; fools openly spread slander.
Proverbs 10:19 ” Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent (wise) hold their tongues.”
Proverbs 16:28 ” Troublemakers start fights; gossips break up friendships”
Proverbs 11:12 ” Mean-spirited slander is heartless; quiet discretion accompanies good sense. ”
Proverbs 18:8 ” Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want junk like that in your belly?”
Proverbs 12:18 ” The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Proverbs 26:20 ” When you run out of wood, the fire goes out; when the gossip ends, the quarrel dies down.”
Psalms 37:30 ” Righteous chews on wisdom like a dog on a bone, rolls virtue around on his tongue.
His heart pumps God’s Word like blood through his veins; his feet are as sure as a cat’s.”
Psalms 141:3 ” Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips.”
1 Peter 3:10 ” Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech.”
1 Peter 3:9 “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”
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AnonymousAugust 7, 2012 at 2:19 am
THIS REALLY DID TOUCH MY SPIRIT SIS. IT IS SO HARD FOR US TO STOP GOSSIPIING BUT WE HAVE TO DO IT. OFTEN TIMES WE GOSSIP BECAUSE ANOTHER WOMAN IS SINNING DIFFERENTLY THEN WE ARE. LIKE YOU SAID, IF WE COULD JUST LEARN TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER AND PICK EACH OTHER UP, THIS WORLD WOULD BE SUCH A BETTER PLACE. GOOD TOPIC SISTER. I THINK WE ARE ALL DEALING WITH THIS. CONTINUE TO TESTIFY. WE ALL NEED TO HEAR YOUR STORY
-MIECHELE BERKLEY (YOUR SISTER WHO LOVES YOU AND ONLY WANT TO SEE YOU PROSPER IN EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE)
Brittany M. JonesOctober 3, 2012 at 11:00 pm
thank you sis…Another woman is sinning diff than we are?? ok thats good i might have to borrow that lol love ya
Edmenyon WilliamsNovember 16, 2012 at 4:21 pm
I love this cousin. I'm going to start reading more of your blog. You just don't know how you daily and continuously help me in my journey to be a better person, mother, daughter, and woman. I love you and like I always say, continue to let God use you-your one of his most valuable tools for his work on many. At least that's what I believe.
Brittany M. JonesNovember 18, 2012 at 5:25 am
Aww thanku cuz love you so much!!! really