Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me

That is one of the biggest lies I have ever heard. I don’t know about you but words have been the cause of some serious pain in my life.

Why do we women gossip and talk about each other? I believe its self esteem issues, downing her to make self seem better, jealousy, feeling threatened by the next woman,  or out of anger and revenge. Someone may have talked about you and hurt you so you do the same to them. It could stem from boredom, just to make conversation and entertain others, trying to fit in with other women and using it as a bonding tactic and many other reasons.

Some have nothing going on in their own lives so they gossip and talk about everybody else who are actually trying to better themselves, just bitter.


We have all gossiped and talked about others intentionally or unintentionally, but once you are the victim it’s a whole different story. I had to realize the hard way that everybody does not have your best at heart. I can remember confiding in some young ladies about serious issues, only for them to go back and tell others my business, taking my words with good intentions and making them evil. I can also remember confiding in a grown woman who was suppose to be a mother figure to me, supposed to be saved, but ended up gossiping about me, saying hurtful things and was just as childish as a little school girl. Have you ever heard the saying, “church hurt is the worst hurt”? Just because someone is in church does not mean they are in Christ. I had to realize that what the devil means for bad God always means for good.

Through all that, God showed me that I put too much into people, what they think and say.  He showed me insecurities I had and my lack of confidence. I wanted to be bitter, talk about them, and hold grudges.

” Why do I have to be the bigger person? She is a grown woman and she should know better”

The hurt and pain made me get on my knees more, read more, learn how to forgive, show love to those who hurt me because hurt people hurt others. It made me look deeper into their hearts and issues with compassion and it showed me what not to do to other women! Maturity does not come with age, but Christ.

  Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,  bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” -Luke 6:27-28

Man, is this a struggle to do sometimes. It took a lot of crying, releasing, and praying but I was determined to let my light (the Holy Spirit) shine no matter what. God wants us to go higher but He has to get some junk out of us to elevate us and He will use whoever He pleases to do it.

Ladies, we must do better. Gossiping and talking about each other is one of the nastiest characteristics us women can have and is truly displeasing to God. Can we praise God and belittle another out of the same mouth?  Absolutely not! As women, we have a responsibility to help the next woman, encourage her to be a better person, be her cheerleader instead of tearing her down, talking about what she is wearing, who she is with or what she is doing.

Try something new.  Pray for her instead of talking about her. You will find yourself growing, maturing spiritually and helping others in the process. We know each other’s pain first hand. We know how each other operates. We know how it feels to want to be loved and to act on emotions all the time. Instead of dogging her and the situation she is in, give her a helping hand and lift your sister up. God sets us free from our own situations so that we can help the next girl get set free, not keep her in bondage with our words!

A lot of us women have so many issues because we like to comment on everything, about everything and every body. We must learn to keep the mouth closed 🙂

Ask yourself this