I’m too Good for Him! When does “Self -esteem” Become Pride??

I’m too Good for Him! When does “Self -esteem” Become Pride??

Hey Ladies! If you are a faithful reader of SA then you would know that I’m very big on us women knowing our worth in God. I always talk about self respect and self esteem alot and I talk about these things in a sense of respecting our bodies and who we are as Gods creation. But my sister in Christ gave such a great perspective on what self esteem can become if we are not careful in interpreting it correctly.

This made me take a real look at my own heart more than usual and I’m so glad I did! Respecting my body has no longer been a issue for awhile but when it came to who I wanted to date and what “I required” in a young man, it became all about SELF. Growing up I always told myself  I would never date what I despised  and as God allowed me to go to college and accomplish things I began to compare the attributes of my future husband to my own mind and accomplishments, not even realizing what I was doing and this whole time what I have really been walking in is Pride. I’m sure all of us ladies have made a list or two for God of what we desire in a man

  • He has to have a degree
  • Be making more money than me
  • Super smart
  • Really tall
  • A certain color and tone
  • He cant be fine but FIONE lol and so on…..”
Now I’m not saying its wrong to have standards, of course I encourage that. I believe in a man taking his position as the man, working for things and actually having something to bring to the alter. He has been anointed to be a leader, yes!  But take a step back and evaluate those standards: are they based off of God or are they really based off of Self? A lot of us have been walking in self and don’t even know it, so we become that woman who could never be satisfied possibly missing the true kingdom man that God has for us.

The enemy has took pride and hid it under all these Self affirming words right before us and we don’t even realize it. Thank you to my sis in Christ for exposing the enemy and sharing that real!! Lord, for every woman that reads this I pray that you break down these false walls and foundations of self -security and rebuild our esteem and worth in You alone!

When Self-esteem Becomes Pride

“Regarding Self- esteem…..Esteem in what? Esteem in Self? In ones ability or skills or knowledge or appearance? Are these feelings of worth based upon one’s status?

When terms as these (self esteem, self worth and self respect) are used it can easily be mistaken as to find worth and esteem in a person’s ability and not in Christ. The reality is we are worthless and our worth is not really of our self but is given to us by Christ. Our esteem is found in Christ alone. I guess it’s better said “Self in Christ-esteem” because apart from Christ, we are no good. 

Psalm 16:2  I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord;apart from you I have no good thing.”

When these terms are viewed in this way they easily become pride and we find ourselves prideful and disguise it as “Self-esteem.”In the other sense low self-esteem is also a form of Pride. It’s like saying to God ‘You didn’t make me pretty enough to my standards’ or ‘You didn’t’ make me smart enough or successful enough to my standards’. But God is the Potter and we are the clay. To have low self esteem is pride as well in that sense because we are telling The Potter what he made is unacceptable.
We should have a healthy biblical “self-esteem” and worth that is found in Christ and not ourselves. 
Romans 12:3 says “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought,  but rather think of yourself with sober judgment.”
I see far to many christian women become prideful in this sense, especially when it comes to the subject of dating and finding a husband. What if a man approaches you to date you, but he is just a janitor making minimum wage? Would you turn him down? What if he was “ugly” or has a felony and will only work laborious jobs?God may not bring a lady in waiting a man with a masters degree that’s tall dark and handsome. He may be a humble, Godly man but he will be a beautiful man, fit and chosen by God.

The reality is that there is beauty in the lowliest of places. God may send us a lowly man but if he is God-fearing, a man after God’s heart, a protector and has the skills to be a wonderful steward of his home then he is a beautiful man and worth our time.
What is healthy self-esteem and worth? It is knowing that apart from Christ we are wretched sinners with wicked hearts and if it wasn’t for his death and atonement for our sins we would still be enemies of God, dead in our sins.  But through Christ we have this eternal life and have been imputed righteousness and worth and the Holy spirit to help us shine the Light of Christ to the rest of the dying world and that is where our confidence and esteem lies.”—-Devaney Cole
Devaney Cole with her wonderful Husband

I just love how God directs His people to the truth.Thank you Devaney for your example and obedience. Its setting many captives free 🙂

Stay Encouraged you all
Brittany J

Britany Jones

Brittany Jones is an inspirational writer and speaker for young women. Her passion is to empower young women to live their best life by knowing their self-worth and the power of sexual Integrity.

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