Love, the word we use so often yet don’t have a clue of what it really is.

What is love?

Here are some familiar responses:

1. Love is an undefined emotion
2. Love is a feeling you get that you just can’t explain. It’s like a feeling of butterflies in your stomach.
3. Love is when you can’t stop thinking about the person or want to be with them all the time.
4. Love is sex. If we have sex then that means we love each other.

I’m sure there are many other definitions out there. The first 3 are so surface but the 4th is just scary.

I thought all 4 were the right answer, ESPECIALLY #4

I never knew the love and affections of a man (father), so like most young girls, I created my own definition of love with the help of music, T.V and the jacked up relationships around me. My heart was empty and I felt that if a boy touched me or wanted me enough to have sex with me then it must have meant that he loved me.

I actually believed that in order to receive real love or give love then I had to give up the most intimate, most precious, deepest part of me… my sex! Boy, did I play myself.

I later discovered that love is none of those definitions given. Love is not even a feeling.?

Love is a Decision.

It’s:

1. Unconditional. There are no requirements to love or be loved. You don’t have to do anything to be loved.
2. Patient. It does not force anything or make you do anything, especially anything harmful.
3. Seeking the good for someone else.

Here is a great definition that sums it up into one statement: Love is a decision made that gives up your own selfish desires for the benefit or good of someone else.

Benefit means something that produces good or helpful results or something that promotes well-being. Understand that just because something is good to you is totally different from something that is good for you.  A benefit is what’s good for you.

Here is a great example; you have decided to give up your 30 minutes of watching t.v to wash the dishes for your mom, as it benefits her, yourself and the entire household. Do you see any “feelings” or “emotions” in that? I’m sure sometimes you don’t “feel” like cleaning but you decided to do it anyway because it’s for the good of the house.

Sure, feelings come along in doing things and in different kinds of relationships but it’s not the foundation. Feelings come and go. Can you feel like you love a person one day and not the next day? If you could then that’s flaky and obviously not real love. Love is much more rooted and sincere than that.

When asking the creator of sex to tell me more about it, He told me that there is absolutely no benefit, in having premature sex, not one! ( this is not including children for they are ALWAYS a blessing )

Given the definition of love stated above, and the fact that there is no benefit from premature sex, can having sex right now be love? In fact, He showed me that sex too soon actually robs you of valuable things in your life.

Here are a few of those loses:

1. Your bodily health. It opens your body to disease, some with no cure in sight.
2. Your ability to make good decisions. It clouds your vision, causing you to act out of emotions instead of what’s right and true.
3. Your ability to choose. We can choose to have sex but we can’t choose the consequences afterwards.
4. Your Connection. It blocks your communication with God, the most important communication you need on this earth…and the list goes on.

Although there are loses in having premature sex, there are many benefits in respecting the boundaries around sex. Here is one: you will be able to invest your time in someone who loves you as the queen that you are and not waste your time on someone who says they love you so that they can get something from you, like your sex. If he is willing to have sex with you before the “right time”, he does not love you nor himself and you don’t love yourself either.

( The next PP will tell you when the right time is 😉 )

Purity Point #2 : Choose Love!

Learning to love yourself does not happen in one day. It takes time and the right people to actually show you what love is. Here is the best example of love: God sent His son Jesus to die on a cross and rise to life again just to pay for our human debt, sin! Our sin separates us from God and Jesus did this, not because He felt like it, but because He knew that it would benefit the life of the one who believed in Him. That benefit is to live with God forever! Talk about love!

Let’s Talk!

Tell me what you thought about Purity Point #2. What did you think love was before this purity point? Have you ever been in a situation where a guy said “if you love me, then you would _____?” Maybe you thought, “I have to prove my love by  ____ !” If you think there are benefits from having sex at this time, tell me what they are.

I want to hear all about it plus more. Start moving those fingers girl 😉